Nordic Therapy
by HistoryWizardNerd22
Summary: After a truely chaotic time at Norway's, Denmark decides that all of the Nordics need therapy. Not as crappy as it sounds, but first chapter isn't my best. I'm open for any and all critism and suggestions.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, I'm back! I still don't own Hetalia, and I still have an empty piggy-bank. This was made purely for humor and not to be taken seriously at all. Rating might be changed to T in later chapters.**

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Sweden was glaring. This was typical, but it was who he was angrily staring at that was surprising. The frightening nation was attempting to murder his "wife" with his eyes.

To make matters worse, said "wife", Finland, was frowning at Sweden.

As self appointed king, Denmark decided he had to take matters into his own hands, and get Norway's house cleaned up before he came home.

J L J L J L J L J L J L J

The day had started like any other for Denmark, wake up, eat breakfast, and go to Norge's place. However, when the Dane got to his best friend's house Sweden and Finland were having a screaming match, and Norway's prized painting of the screaming guy was on the floor.

Sadly, luck was not on the side of any of the three Nordics, and in walked the straight-faced nation. A dark aura faintly reminiscent of Russia's rose around the nation, and the two bickering nations froze. Finland quivered and Sweden's eyes widened in a masked fear. Denmark, out of options, hid behind the island in Norway's kitchen.

The two Scandinavian uninvited guests remembered just how hard their ex-Viking friend could punch, with matching bruises on their arms. Finland got off easily, with a harsh shove and menacing gaze. Norway tenderly picked up his treasured painting, lovingly stroking the damaged material and muttering caring words to it.

After that train wreck, every one left. Well, everyone but Norway, because he lived there. It was also on that night that Denmark booked a therapy session for him and the other Nordics.

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**What were Sweden and Finland arguing about? Who is going to be their therapist? Will I ever write a serious fic? **

**To those who read my other stories, I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have a truely evil English teacher, who feeds on the happiness of others making them uncreative. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Second Chapter! Whoot, whoot! Still don't own my own laptop, much less Hetalia.**

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"Hello," began Denmark, talking on his cell phone. "Yes… well no… Tuesday is fine… Yes, for a group session… No we don't want any fruits in the room! We'll see you there at five thirty. Yes, goodbye." Some people, thought the Dane, just shouldn't be working as receptionists in a therapist's office.

After arranging an appointment for a group therapy session for himself and the other Nordics, he realized that step one of his plan was completed.

He mentally reviewed his plan.

Step One: Book a therapy session.

Step Two: Bring all of the Nordics

Step Three: Get Norge to admit he doesn't hate me.

Step Five: Pay the therapist.

Step Six: Buy a pet more awesome than Gilbird.

Denmark knew he skipped 'Step Four'. But, Denmark would save that part of the plan for a later date.

12w+6y-3t=33

The time was five o'clock. The King of Scandinavia still needed to get his –only– friends to the shrink. Finland and Sweden were told to go the Copenhagen Counseling Center, both wanting to work out what ever issue they were having. Frankly, Denmark didn't care about Sweden and Finland's problems, but more so about Norway's sanity. Now it was five after five.

How could Denmark get Iceland and Norway to the mediation and counseling session? Neither would willingly partake in a session, much less show up. The obnoxious Dane only had one choice – which was probably illegal.

Vanishing in a small puff of smoke, the nation used his power as a representative of a country to teleport to Reykjavík, home of the youngest Nordic. Dragging said person kicking and complaining out of his office, he teleported both of them to Oslo, Norway.

12w+6y-3t=33

Loud feet stomping down the hallway alerted Norway of an uninvited guest. Having his door flung off its hinges revealed a tower of a man with gravity defying hair that Norway had come accustom to call "the idiotic Dane".

"What do you want Danmark?" Asked Norway in his usually emotionless voice, accidentally slipping into his native tongue on his "friend's" name. Behind the older man, he could see his beloved younger brother attempting to hide from his older brother. Poor Iceland.

"Norge, all of us are going to therapy in," Denmark checked his watch, "THREE MINUTES! WE GOTTA HURRY NORGE C'MON!" Denmark started pacing while he continued talking. Norway looked on blankly with his younger brother walking over to him slowly. Both looked on mildly entertained, until Denmark latched onto their arms and transported them to the Copenhagen Counseling Center.

"It's okay guys. We're only a little late. It's just in this room! Let's go." Mumbled the Dane, just loud enough for everyone to hear. He pushed open the door. "Hello Mr. Therapist. We are ready to be healed!"

"Less awesome Denmark! What are you doing here?" Prussia asked sitting in a chair with a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other. He looked around and saw everyone else standing in the door of his office. "Oh. Wrong room. You all are three doors down. Good look."

Denmark sweat dropped and turned around and they all went to the proper room.

"I have to make money too!" Came the Prussian as they were walking away.

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**The page break was a question from my Algebra page. I have a mental picture of Prussia with glasses on wearing a sweater vest...**

**Did anyone actually go check if there was a missing step four? Will Denmark calm down? Will I write longer chapters? And who is their real therapist? Stay tuned! And please review, the more reviews the quicker I update.**


	3. Chapter 3

A heavy sigh escaped the mouth of the exasperated Norwegian man. As usual, Norway had been dragged into a most likely pointless situation by an annoying Dane. This time however, he would not be able to get out of the mess that is therapy.

When they got to the door of their real therapist, the mentioned personification of the southernmost Nordic nation barged into the room, leaving everyone else in the hallway. Sweden and Finland entered a minute later with Iceland then Norway following.

Inside the room, Norway realized the room was colder than Svalbard. The walls were neutral mustard yellow with a large picture of pink and orange tulips on the same wall as the door. There was one couch in the back of the room with a chair three meters in front of it. All in all, Norway found the room decent.

Alas, being the last one into the therapist's "office" also meant he was the last one to sit on the couch. The couch that was not as large as Norway had assumed.

"Denmark, get up," said the icy man, hoping his neighbor to the south would listen. Unfortunately, said person had different ideas and pulled Norway onto his lap.

While this was happening, Sweden and Finland started bickering about Sealand.

"He is a little kid, Sweden! We can't just let him go back to England!" Finland told his husband.

"W'll h' h's c'mpl'tly v'l't'd 'r pr'v'cy!"[1] Spat back the larger nation.

Iceland sat there wedged between Sweden and Norway, with Denmark sitting on the ground rubbing his neck.

The therapist chose that moment to speak up by clearing his throat.

"Ned! You're a therapist?!" Came the loud voice of the king of Scandinavia, who had no clue his friend had a human occupation.

The blonde man who had gravity defying hair and a scar above his left eye nodded. He made a quick note in the pad he had. Something along the lines of, 'Norway anger issues. Sweden Finland couple issues involving child. Iceland? Denmark overly happy, cares too much for Norway, separation anxiety?'

"Hello Denemarken," [2] began Netherlands, "I am your therapist."

"Well," Finland started, "It's better than Russia."

All of the other nations nodded. After all, you can not spell therapist without rapist.

"Anyhow, as your therapist, you must all call each other by your human names," the tulip country said. "I go as Abel Van Smit."[3] He pointed to the I.D. that hung around his neck as he said that, and then looked at the small innocent looking blonde almost sitting on Sweden.

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After all the Nordics introduced themselves with human names without any disagreement braking out, Iceland checked his watch. Ten minutes left in the session. Only ten mind shattering minutes. And Netherlands had just the idea on how to make it… interesting.

He held up a picture of a black ink blot bunny on clear white paper. The "highly trained" therapist asked, "What does this look like?"

Reluctantly, the youngest nation raised his head. His gaze softened as he saw the rabbit picture. His good mood however was shattered when Denmark started screaming.

"IT'S A MONSTER! SAVE ME NORWAY! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Shouted the loud man, as he jumped onto a profoundly surprised Norway. The Dane's head was positioned in the space between his jaw and shoulder, and he omitted many a whimper.

"It looks cute," were the only words from Norway as he pushed Denmark off of him.

A light bulb went off in the Dutch man's head as he realized the real problem, for Denmark.

"It is an adorable duck," Finland agreed, seeing the image differently.

"R'bb't," corrected Sweden.

"Duck!"

"R'bb't!"

"This is why I can't be with you! You are so controlling!"

"'h I 'm?! Y''re t' 'sy g'ng!" [4]

Luckily, the therapy session ended, and Netherlands pushed them out of his office.

Once he was sure they were gone, he pulled a pipe out of his pocket and placed it in his mouth. This was going to be an incredibly long six months.

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[1] "Well, he completely violated our privacy!"

[2] Denmark in Dutch

[3] Abel Van Smit, Netherlands's human name, I came up with the last name.

[4] "Oh I am?! You are too easy going.

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**Hello! I meant to update this earlier! I have a feeling Netherlands was very OOC. Any suggestions on how to write him would be appreciated. I hope this was funny for you guys. **

**Funny story. I was going to update this yesterday, but I was dragged to the beach where I got paler. Don't ask how...**

**You shall read from me again next week.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This is a filler chapter. I'm sorry to those who wanted... something else? I don't own Hetalia, or Alexander Rybak. PLease reveiw! And possibly check out my other stories.**

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After the therapy session with the drug addicted Dutch man, all of the Nordics decides they needed time apart. Lots of time. In fact, Iceland would have been perfectly fine if he never saw his brother or other northern neighbors again in his long existence.

The session intended to help was not the root of Iceland's glumness. As it would turn out, Denmark gave Mr. Puffin alcohol last time they had a 'family' meeting, and his long time pet wasn't feeling too hot. The young nation was balls of nerves, awaiting the veterinarian to exit the examination room and tell him what was wrong with his closest friend, who he had since he was a Norwegian territory.

Slowly, the door creaked open to reveal none other than the older brother he was desperately trying to avoid. In his arm was the puffin he disliked. The creature could be blamed for Norway's usual emotionless mask of a face to crack and reveal a scowl, along with an 'I need a job too' face.

"I am sorry to inform you that Mr. Puffin only has three days left to live. Lillebror, I suggest you do everything he's ever wanted to do… before he passes," Norway told his brother in his usual monotone, "you only have three days. Good luck."

"I'm," Mr. Puffin stopped shortly to catch his breath, "fine. I'll be… okay, Icey."

On that note, Iceland turned on his heel and walked out the door after gingerly taking the puffin from the 'vet'. The car ride home was incredibly awkward, perhaps more so than his brother. An Alexander Rybak song came blasting through the speakers.

_Why won't you leave me alone, just leave me alone! You're crazy leave me al-_

The song was cut off by Iceland shutting down the radio. That was a horrible song to play with a dying man –puffin– in the car.

"So, Mr. Puffin, what's on your bucket list?"

This line is in memory of Mr. Puffin the Third. Blah, blah, blah. 3x2-3x+6=y

Three eventful days of egging Denmark's house, painting Sweden's, avoiding Norway, dressing up as Prussia, whaling, and doing yoga later…

Salty tears gathered in Iceland's eyes as Mr. Puffin lay wheezing on his bed. Giving one final hack his soul left his bird body, rising into the sky.

He stared at the body for a few minutes, but then got creeped out by the dead puffin body. Having no clue what to do next, he called Norway. After all, he was supposedly a vet.

Arriving in a puff of smoke, then tripping and landing on Iceland, was Norway.

"Well, is he dead, or what?" Asked Norway, dusting himself off. Next, he carefully looked at Mr. Puffin. "What is that?" He added, pointing in the opposite direction.

When Iceland turned away, he conjured a new talking puffin from his collection and vanished Mr. Puffin the twelve thousandth. The shorter nation looked back at his brother confused. Then, as if by magic, Mr. Puffin sneezed.

Too bad Iceland saw Norway replace Mr. Puffin three hundred years ago. Maybe they did need therapy.


	5. Chapter 5

Sweden's house was quiet. Silent. As if it was a television set turned to mute. It was times like this when he missed all the unions. Even having Norway here would have been better than being alone. Now, he sat alone in his study looking over charts and laws, reading the occasional news article.

Finland had moved not visited the taller man in three weeks, and Sealand decided to go with him. The only time he saw his ex-wife was during therapy sessions. Mentioned ex seemed to have forgotten their shared history. The time they tried to raise a colony in the western world, their long union, and the wars fought together ignored.

He had no clue why he even went to the group sessions. All he did was sit and stare at the colorful tulip painting hanging on the wall. It got old quickly. Sadly, it was a Tuesday and they had _another_ appointment tonight. It was apparently his week to talk too. Great.

At twenty eight minutes past six in the evening, he teleported himself to the reception area of the CCC. He was met by Norway's emotionless face and slight nod in greeting. He jerked his head in response, acknowledging his old friend. Next to show up was a frazzled Finland, followed by a bored Icelandic teen. Denmark managed to be the last one to the center closest to his home. How typical of the Dane.

Walking down the hallway to _Dr. Abel Van Smit_'s office in an awkward silence, Sweden exhaled deeply. Sitting on the too small couch squeezed between the arm and Denmark, Sweden wished he wasn't a nation so he could die. He would die from the embarrassment when Netherlands came in anyway.

The session started like all the others. Netherlands asking, "Is everyone okay?" Denmark answering loudly, Norway staring, Iceland jerking his head in what might have been a spasm, Finland tiredly nodding, and Sweden glaring at the therapist. Shortly after, they would discuss the olden days, Denmark rambling on and on about his days as a Viking, and leader of an empire. Norway would add his two sense here and there, insulting the Dane.

After a brief summary of his founding of Greenland, the Dutch man set his sights on the Swede. "I'm tired of that idiots rambles. _Berwald_," he said the human name mockingly, "you seem uneasy. Is there anything wrong?"

Usually, he would have lied and said everything was peachy, but for some reason he felt the need to get his new Finland issues off his chest. He grunted and nodded. "Y's. 'ct'ly, ' w'nt t' s'y s'm'th'ng." (Yes actually, I have something to say)

The non-Nordic man looked astonished. A trait not appreciated in a therapist. He quickly gestured for his patient to continue, fearing that the tall man may suddenly not want to talk.

"F'nl'nd, ' 'm s'rry ' sn'pp'd 't S'l'nd. H' r'n'd m' f'rst 'lymp'c m'd'l!" (Finland, I'm sorry I snapped at Sealand, he ruined my first Olympic medal!)

The shady therapist face palmed. Right when he thought he had a break through. Then he asked a typical therapist question, "How did that make you feel?"

When he got no response, he realized he would have to start again next week. These nations didn't want to be here. Well Denmark did, but that was unsurprising. Fortunately, Finland softened when Sweden admitted he was wrong, but only slightly.

The happy nation beamed at his old husband quickly then returned to silently conversing with Iceland.

Dismissing his patients, he again returned to his pipe, his only friend in his dark times. Maybe the therapist needed a therapist. But the chapter was focused on Sweden, not Netherlands even if he needed a therapist too. The author needed to stay on topic!

Sighing for the third time in one day, Sweden was about to return home. A soft, warm hand stopped him from leaving.

"Thank you Mr. Sweden. I am proud that you can admit your fault. However, I will not give you Sealand!" Came Finland's soft, but menacing voice.

Again, Sweden nodded, teleporting back home, alone. Into his quiet house, too big for one man to live in alone. Oh how he missed his family.

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**Hello! Guess what today was?! MY BIRTHDAY! It was spent alone however. This is the result of that. I would like to thank the awesome Anime Alert, without who this would not have been updated. Also thanks to all who have read, reveiwed, favorited, and followed. There is a poll up on my profile that would be good to take, and in the comments say who you want the next chapter to follow. Brownie points to guess how old I turned today, it's a little shocking.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

A month had passed sense the last therapy session with Netherlands. Things had gotten better for some of the Nordics, some. Denmark had become less centered on Norway, and spent more time with Prussia and America. Finland and Sweden were closer than ever, Sealand would spend weekends with his biological brother. The youngest Nordic hung out more with Hong Kong, because, let's face it, Iceland did not partake in the therapy sessions. However, Norway was not faring well.

In therapy, while the two more eastern nations cuddled on the couch, Netherlands's drug problem had gotten worse. The resent increase in the Dutch man's substance abuse was easily blamed on his new clients. At least two and a half of them were fine. Of course, the additional fact that someone had broken into his office recently didn't help.

An odd chain of events had plagued Norway and his home as well. He could not find his hair clips, and received calls from no one. On various occasions, he would return from Copenhagen to find his home unlocked and fridge empty. If he had not been with Denmark, he would have suspected him.

At the most recent session, the alleged therapist stumbled in wearing a crown of tulips. Next, he made unreasonable accusations at Norway, including "you wear that cross to feel important", "secretly, you and Denmark are in love!" and "you had no childhood, so you neglect all "childish" emotions." Obviously all his statements were false.

The hour long therapy session finally ended and Denmark payed Netherlands for his service. When Norway arrived home he intended to make himself some coffee. Sadly for Norway, there was no coffee in his home at all. He would have to go to his local shopping center. The weather was a nice temperature, so he decided to walk.

Until he got a phone call from England. The Norwegian took a detour into a local park filled with children squealing in glee, smiled slightly at a five year old girl, and then answered his phone. "Hello," began the fair skinned Nordic, still in a mildly happy tone.

"Norway, old friend, how have you been?" Questioned the British country in his semi posh accent. "You haven't been to our… meetings, recently, and Romania and I were worried about you."

A look of shock then embarrassment briefly crossed Norway's face. How could he have forgotten magic club also met on Tuesdays?! Regaining his composure Norway answered, "Sorry England. The idiotic Dane has been dragging me to therapy these past few months."

"Oh, I'm… sorry?" England sputtered unsure what else to say. He muttered a brief farewell –which the author was too lazy to write– and hung up.

Norway decided now was as good a time as any to continue his brave trek to the super market to buy coffee. After fifteen more minutes of brisk walking, he finally reached his desired destination, relived with the prospect of the bitter beverage he was addicted to.

He selected his usually brand, which he located in an earth shattering record that could be possible after decades of practice. Unfortunately for him, after being fired from every other supermarket in Europe, Greece was manning the check out isle.

The poor coffee. So close, yet so far.

After waiting in line another quarter of an hour, Norway was finally home free to enjoy his coffee in peace.

Y equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c all over two a!

"Poor Norway," muttered a European man to himself, sitting in Norway's armchair. If only he would realize when ever things get better, they are bound to get worse.

The floor creaked behind the man and he quickly turned toward the sound by instinct. Panicking slightly, he readied a wandless spell, prepared to cast it on who ever snuck up behind him. However, in his shock, he cast the spell on he who he was watching. Before the bewildered spell caster was Norway, in the form of an eight year old child.

Well, at least he was cute.

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**A/N: Okay I have some news. There will be maybe two or three more chapters. Also, I meant to post this Sunday, but when sharing a laptop with your family who pays bills online, and must study for finals, you lose your right to said electronic.**

**On another note... Who was following Norway? Will he ever be turned back into an adult? Will I study for Algebra? Find out in the next chapter of "Nordic Therapy"!**


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Hetalia or Harry Potter. I am a nerdy American mathlete.

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"Who are you?" Asked, nation turned child, Norway. All though the boy's eyes were slightly lighter and his voice an octave higher, Norway looked the same. Minus the fact that his clothing pooled around him because he was more than a foot shorter than usual.

"Crap," stated the older man slightly in awe of the boy's cuteness yet also surprised by what happened to his friend. "Well, my name is Romania. We were, are, sort of good friends."

Norway shivered, even in the house during summer it was a tad on the cold side at night. The little fellow started shuffling towards the stairwell which led to his bedroom. Romania started to snicker, drawing the attention of the stumbling male. Said male screeched. "M-m-monster!" He attempted to run away from the man with red eyes and fangs, but he tripped, landing on his face.

"Kid, Norway! I'm not a monster! I swear, it's just a dental problem," Romania tried to reason, "probably." None of the eastern man's word had any effect and he started to softly cry. Now, Romania was worried. In all the time he knew his northern buddy he had never seen or heard him cry.

"Romania! I hope you did not mess up our intervention plan with Nor-," a British accent rang through the home almost concealing Norway's cries. "Romania, what did you do?!" The green eyed Englishman looked thoroughly surprised and incredibly agitated. Trust me, it's possible.

"What's an intervention?" Sobbed Norway, who appeared to be as hormonal as a pms-ing Hungary. Romania knew as much. The two normal, well physically normal, nations ignored the man-child. Surprised?

"It's not my fault! He surprised me and then this happened! I'm sorry England!" Shouted Romania also nearly in hysterics. His crying made the child stop balling and stare innocently at the vampire, (err) Romanian.

"Bloody hell it isn't! Norway was one of my only friends! Now he's a little child creature! I'm bloody terrible with children! Just look at Sealand," England was also on the verge of tears, "just look! He's a monster! Ruining relationships everywhere!"

Suddenly the door crashed off its hinges. It only took thirty seconds for a tall man with gravity defying hair to race into the living room. You could tell it was Denmark because he shouted, "Norge! I thought I heard some crying and brought the therapist!" The mentioned person perked up their cute head. "Come on Netherlands!"

Norway tilted his head in confusion and asked sweetly, "Danmark, why are you sooooo old?"

"Who are y-? Oh! MY poor Norway! Are you okay? Why are you a child? Am I a pedophile now? Oh, damn it! Norge!" Denmark was rambling now. Next, he set his sights on the two men standing by. "You two! What did you do to my poor little Norge-cake?"

"I am apologetic for that thing's actions. Denemarken, did you take a pipe from my office?" Asked Netherlands is a tone one might use to talk to a disobedient child. The Dane nodded and a grin as large as the moon on the day this was uploaded stretched from cheek to cheek, the cheeks on his face of course.

"I know how they turned Norway into a child!" Proclaimed the adult Nordic. "England and Romania are pedophiles –no offense. They knew Norway believes in that magic garbage, so they turned him into a child so they could marry him!"

"What sick and twisted planted do you live on!"

"Where in the bloody universe did you pull that from?" Both nations demanded at the same time. Denmark only shrugged.

"How did this _actually _happen?" Questioned the therapist. Frankly, all he really wanted to know was if he was getting paid.

"It all started when Norway started going to you for therapy." Began the English representative. "After that, he started acting strange, more emotionless. Logically, we did the only rational thing; we broke into his home and riffled through all his stuff. By the way, did you know he like the _Harry Potter _books? I mean-" Romania cleared his throat and urged England to continue, which he did. "Anyway, we reasoned that Norway had become addicted to his coffee. To save our dear friends life we got rid of all of it!

"But, we realized that our good chum would go buy some more coffee. Romania came back here to dispose of the newly purchased coffee. Sadly, Romania messed up the spell and now here we are. A child Norway, wait! Where is Norway?!"

"Norway Rangers assemble! Split up and search! Go!" Shouted Denmark, who obviously loved Power Rangers.

England, Romania, and Denmark spread out looking for the lost child. After two minutes a small blonde head popped out from behind the armchair Netherlands was sitting in. "Are they gone?" Asked who the therapist assumed was now Norway.

"Yes," answered Netherlands, "Norway, they didn't tell me you also turned into a girl. That's a little odd."

Norway checked his "elder's" statement. Then, he emitted a shriek and passed out.

"I found him!" Called out Denmark, sticking his head into the living room. Netherlands decided he would not inform everyone of Norway's gender swap.

"I do not get paid enough." Declared Netherlands walking out of the house feeling sorry for the boy-girl man-child.

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**A/N Hello. Guess whon still has school until this Thursday?! Thank you Sandy. My English teacher, the crazy one, is giving out awards though.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Iceland was sleeping peacefully, dead to the world, looking as content as a baby. Then his phone started blaring.

_"Why won't you leave me alone, just leave me alone! You're crazy leave me alone you're crazy leave me alo_-_"_

Still half asleep he just managed to grasp his phone and bring it to his ear, neglecting to observe who was calling.

"Hello," sleepily called the youngest Nordic into his cellular device. He, like all of the other Nordics minus Denmark, did not know of Norway's current predicament.

"ICY, YA GOTTA GET OVER HERE! IT'S AN EMERGANCY!" Shouted a distinct voice, only slightly jumbled by Iceland's mental haziness.

"Denmark, do you know how early it is? There's a time difference you know!" Muttered Iceland into the phone. If the Dane could see Iceland's face he would have realized how agitated he was.

"Oh ya, sorry," began Denmark. "Can you just come to your brother's house?"

"Hurry up!"

"Who are you talking to?" Asked a childish voice in the background.

"Crap! Ice I gotta go! Just come here! And bring some licorice! And a negotiator! NOW! PLE-," the line went dead before the teen on the other line could hear the rest on his once caregiver's words.

Thoroughly puzzled by the child in the background and apparent vacancy of Norway in his own country lead Iceland to slink out of bed and dress himself, preparing for what could be a suicide mission. On his way out he did grab the black licorice.

With a whoosh he arrived at his so-called "Big Brother's" home. Anticipating a monster, or maybe Russia, Iceland slowly opened the door holding the candy in front of him. Realizing no danger, he put the licorice back in his jacket. As he examined the walls approaching the living room, Iceland noticed food splattered against them. He wondered what in this odd world could have happened.

Finally, the Icelandic guy reached the living room and what he saw shocked him. Sitting Indian style on his brother's hardwood floor were Denmark, England, and Romania, each bound and gagged with clothes that looked like Norway's. Running naked through the living room was a much younger Norwegian. Except he was missing a certain part.

The three men being held captive on the ground were trying to warrant the attention of Iceland, but not Norway's. However, she-child-Norway did notice her younger brother –who was now older. Unfortunately for the adults, Iceland then passed out.

?

With shaking and a call of, "Wake up mate! The kid is gone!" Iceland was woken up unpleasantly for the second time in one day.

Exhaling heavily he raised his head reexamining his surroundings. True to the English man's word, Norway was no longer in the living room. And neither was his jacket. He pointed this out to his fellow prisoners of Norway.

Denmark looked incredibly disappointed in Iceland, "Way to lose our only bargaining material Ice! Now we'll never be free!"

The two non-Nordic men looked on, confused. England mouthed something along the lines of, "he's completely barmy," to Romania. Said Romanian then broke out into a fit of inappropriate giggles. He only stopped when a small blonde head popped into the doorway, shooting a murderous glare that could have silenced even Prussia. Even as a child Norway had the potential to be terrifying.

"Thank you for the sweets sleepy man!" Said Norway, all traces of anything but innocence had evaporated.

Iceland nodded. "You know, I'm _your_ brother."

"Really?" Asked the only female currently in the house. S/He had always wanted a brother!

"Yes," Iceland admitted wanting nothing more than to leave. "Listen, if you let me and my friends go we can go do all sorts of sibling things," now time for revenge, "and you can call me 'big brother'!"

Filled with eagerness, the Norwegian skipped over to his "hostages" and untied them. They were all about to exit when the realized Norway was naked. Butt naked. Crap.

"Am I the only one to notice Norway's naked?" He asked with a slight blush on his checks.

All the other men nodded. Luckily, Romania decided to spare them all the view and magically put a lovely blue dress on Norway, and as a finishing touch, he replaced the child's signature hair cross with a blue bow. Denmark took a picture. England glared at him.

"What! He slash she looks so cute," Denmark claimed pinching one of Norway's cheeks. Norway responded by slapping Denmark's hand.

She walked over to Iceland and tugged softly on his trousers. "Big Brother, can we go now?" Iceland pulled out a video camera.

"Can you repeat that?" asked Iceland, also wanting to remember his brother's weak and cute moments.

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**A/N: First full day out of school! I'm really going to miss it. I have a ton of summer homework this year too. Two more chapters to go. Please leave a review. I'm looking for new story ideas!**

**p.s. I do not own Iceland's ring tone.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Okay Norge! Let's go to the park," cheered the tallest man in Norway's house. "Ice, where's the nearest park?!"

The only teenager in the house shrugged, completely bored. And confused. He always thought his brother had no friends outside the Nordics. Acquaintances and allies, sure, but none he would consider "friends". He apparently was wrong.

"Park, park, park!" Chanted the child, almost as eager as Denmark. The Dane acted like a child and Norway was one.

Iceland took this chance to sneak out of the house. He was almost to freedom about to cross out of the ho- "BIG BROTHER?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

Norway sure could screech. Maybe it was the fact that he was now female? But who knows.

Iceland regained his chilled composure and answered carefully, still trying to escape. "I was going to go look for a park…"

England nodded at the fellow island nation. He too wanted to leave. To see a good friend of his in a little girl's body really creeped him out. He quickly shot a glance at Romania, studying his expression. The upward curve of his lips and the slight sparkle in his eyes portrayed his amusement.

"I'm sure we can find a nice park in walking distance," the Balkan man commented.

If England were not such a gentleman he would have face palmed. Instead, he settled for rolling his eyes. Iceland noticed and held back a chuckle. He was glad he was not the only one dreading a journey to the oh-so-great park.

As if shot out of a cannon, Norway propelled himself forward out of the door Iceland had opened. She ran out onto the sidewalks of Oslo, dodging pedestrians. In her small state she could squeeze between people walking on the paved way. Suddenly the world seemed to go in slow motion as she stumbled over a rock skidding a foot away. Blood began to gently ooze out of a cut on her leg.

It only took two minutes for Denmark to come across the child's shaking form. Tears leaked from her eyes, causing his heart to break. With careful movements, the Dane scooped Norway into his arms and turned one hundred eighty degrees, walking back to the Norwegians house.

By the time they got to the desired location Norway's crying had subsided to mere sniffles. Ignoring the looks from the other nations in the room Denmark continued to carry Norway up the stairs to the bathroom. He slowly removed the little girl from his being and situated her on the counter so he could better examine her knee. As a former Viking, he knew his friend had experienced much worse injuries, but as a child his tolerance for pain must have lowered incredibly. Luckily, he had also been a Viking and had patched up much worse injuries.

"This might hurt a tiny bit," Denmark stated trying to prepare Norway.

Norway nodded in response, watching as the older man wet a washcloth and pressed it to her knee, stopping the blood and cleaning the cut. Next he fished a band aid out of the medicine cabinet and placed it over the wound.

"Kiss it," demanded Norway, then adding, "pwease!"

Denmark chuckled, and then light kissed the bandage. "Do you still wanna go to the park?"

Again, the girl nodded and stuck her arms out, demanding to be held. The Dane was happy to oblige. If only Norway could always be so innocent. As the two –well one- walked down the stairs Denmark realized Iceland was gone. Too bad, this could have been a great, messed up, family outing. Surprisingly, Romania and England were still there, hunched over, and conversing in a whispered argument. Suddenly, Romania's head popped up.

"Hello, again, Denmark. We were just leaving." Stated the English chap.

"I thou-,"Romania was cut off by an elbow to the gut. "I mean 'Good bye'!"

With that, the two Nordics were left in a room full of smoke. With England.

"Sorry, wrong spell," muttered England who then disappeared.

..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..* ..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..

Eventually they both got to the park in one piece. Norway ran off again and Denmark sighed and decided to let her. After all, you're only a kid once… Well, you get the point. Norway had a very boring and unfortunate childhood, so Denmark was happy his good buddy could enjoy it now.

"Is that your daughter?" Asked a decently tall blonde woman pointing at Norway.

Denmark chuckled deeply and nodded. "Yup, that little monster is Kristine," he said improvising a Scandinavian name.

The female also laughed. "That little boy she's playing wizards with is my little Bjorn. Oh," she sighed, "they grow up so fast."

"I know what you mean," Denmark said knowing the lady would not get the irony.

The two adults made conversation for almost an hour before she realized the time. When she and her child left the Danish man saw how empty the park was. The only people left were the two countries. Norway came skipping over to her "guardian".

"Denmark, can you push me on the swing?" Norway asked pleading with her adorable eyes that were nowhere near as icy as her older male self. Of course the man could not refuse.

Picking the child up again, he placed her in the kiddy swing. He lightly started to push her as she squealed to be pushed more and go higher.

With a magical whoosh sitting before Denmark, completely nude, in a kiddy swing was Norway, looking his actual age. The self proclaimed King of Scandinavia squealed like a Directioner with front row seats.

"I think I am stuck." Mumbled the ex-child with a straight face, the blush on his cheeks giving way to him embarrassment.

The only thought on his mind was how he would get home without scarring anyone for life.

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**A/N: Hello all! I meant to post this Friday, but I have been slightly depressed. I don't know if any of the names I used are specifically Norwegian, but they are Scandinavian, which is as close as I could get. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, especially the guest reviewer who gave me an idea for this chapter. One more chapter! I have an idea for a new for a story where it will be a talk show. That will be up in a month at the latest because I have to go on a stupid family vacation :( However the last chapter will be up before Sunday, I promise. **


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

After such a _traumatic_ event, one tends to attempt to wipe it from their mind. Unfortunately, it is hard to forget being naked in a park with no clue how you got there when the kiddy you were sitting in is still stuck to you. On top of that, the World Meeting was just three days away.

Three measly days.

And there was no way this swing would come off in seventy two hours. They would never let him live this down. And he had no idea how he got into the hard plastic prison. And where was Denmark now?

Before the whole therapy thing started, the annoying Dane would visit every other day. Oh, how the Norwegian missed those days. He wished more than anything Danmark would appear at his door step demanding to be let in. At least then he would know what the heck happened to him. And now he had a craving for coffee.

Slowly moving out of his bedroom and down the stairs, he noticed an old pile of clothing. His own clothing. This was worse than the time he got drunk with Denmark, England, and Prussia, and woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and a sleeping Prussian. Sometimes he still had nightmares. But Norway swore off drinking, so that was out of the picture.

Observing the shirt, he found it was perfectly intact. He took a quick sniff of the shirt. It had a distinct smell of magic, tea, licorice, beer, smoke, and… blood. Magic! Why didn't he think of this earlier?! And the blood and tea, Romania and England. The last two scents were obvious, Iceland and Denmark had been here too. Maybe he could call one of them?

A sudden realization struck Norway, causing him to massage his temples in irritation. If magic was the cause of the swing being stuck to him, he should just use his own magic to get it off! Whatever had recently happened must have messed up his mind. Or was it the lack of coffee? Doing a quick vanishing spell on the swing, he placed his clothes back on and headed into the kitchen.

What he saw was enough to make him gasp in shock. Coating the walls was a variety of foods, foods Norway did not even eat. Only one possible person could have been responsible for this. He let out an ear piercing scream, "DENMARK!"

It was said the scream was so loud and full of hate that Denmark could hear it from his own country.

After that, Norway collapsed onto the ground, recovering from his shock. He awoke seventy hours later, coated in food. He quickly sat up, searching for anything to reveal what time it was. When he had no such luck in his current position, he stood and looked at the wall clock, which had been previously hidden from view.

Crap. Six o'clock. Two hours to get ready for a conference that you could not miss, yet did nothing at. Why did he even go to these meetings when they only brought headaches? He could not even bother to rationalize an answer.

He took a quick shower and dressed in his usual meeting clothes. While tying his tie, he teleported to Amsterdam, where the meeting was to be held this month.

Surprisingly, he had forty minutes until the roll call. He decided to go get some breakfast. Even nations had to eat. He decided to order some Belgium waffles, he was agitated by Netherlands. He ate, paid with some Euros and took off at a brisk pace for the meeting center.

However, in said center, Denmark was showing around pictures to various nations.

"Awe! He was sooo cute!" Cooed Hungary, staring at the picture.

Japan nodded, smiling in agreement. When the door closed behind Norway all heads turned to him. Laughs spilled out of various mouths, all aimed at the former little girl.

"Dude! Weren't you just, like a cute little girl a few days ago? What the heck happened? Was it the aliens?" Yelled America, in the only volume he knew.

Norway just stood there, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. After this, maybe he _would_ need therapy.

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**A/N: Thank you all for your continued support! As you know, this was the last chapter of this story, so it's officially complete. I could not have finished this story without the support form every one who reviewed! I hope you check out my next story (when ever it comes out).**

**- The Historically Nerdy Wizard**


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